I’m going to write this, and leave it pinned to the page for the time being. No re-editing ten times. No changing the fonts/colours. Just talking to you, and letting you know what’s up.
For the past 5 years I have written this blog on and off in some form. It’s been far more off than on I know, but it’s always been there, like an old friend who I just don’t manage to meet up with often enough. I have been really bad at posting. I used to beat myself up about that, then I realised that wasn’t helping me, or anyone else. The past is what it is, and has happened already. I need to move forward. So that’s what I’ve been doing.
This year so far has been one of personal growth. I’ve come to accept that I was struggling mentally, and that I needed to take some time out. I’ve allowed myself the space to work on myself, and I am slowly starting to feel better. I have been trying to do this for years and years, since even before my mum died. But this time something finally clicked. I don’t know if it was the fact I have the support and love of my amazing boyfriend, that we are living together in what is probably the first stable home I’ve had since I was a kid, or even just the fact summer is here. But something, or more likely a combination of things, has given me the tools I needed to really commit to the journey this time.
I’ve been meditating every morning. Going for walks. Writing down my thoughts in what’s called a ‘brain dump’ most days, just to get them out of my head. I’ve also started to really focus on my wellbeing work, and have booked a few workshops. I gave one earlier this month, have one in July, and one booked for November!
All of this has helped me to feel more positive about myself, to feel proud of my accomplishments, and start to recognise my forward progress. I’m learning to be less hard on myself, and more realistic instead of expecting perfect all the time. I have also got onto the process for counselling, and am starting that up to finally face the things I ran from for so long.
Basically I’m starting from the ground up. I need to re-build my foundations strong, so I can then add to that from a better, healthier place. The blog hasn’t made it into my list of priorities yet. I’m still working on getting up and ready every morning consistently, and walking more, and getting another job. So it will come, once I’m ready to add more onto my plate again. For now I’m focusing on work stuff, and ‘me stuff’. I will get back to the blog, it will just take a bit of time. Hopefully when I do, I’ll be able to finally actually *post consistently* (queue gasps).
Do you have any tips for posting consistently when you’re struggling to balance everything in your life? Have you had similar experiences to me? Let me know in the comments.
Have a great day, and if you’re having a bad day try to do one thing to look after yourself.